It took about two hours to clean the house. You washed the dishes, cleaned the dining table, washed the clothes, and mopped the floor. Then your little kid came wanting to drink a glass of juice, but by mistake, it spilled on the floor.
In another story, you just came from outside, spent a nice time with your friends, had dinner together, and bought yourself some stuff you like, then came back home, to see your kid drinks juice, and it accidentally spilled on the floor.
Would your reaction be the same in both cases?
Most likely, in the first situation, you will get angry, or scream, and your reaction will be aggressive, and you will scold your child for spilling the juice.
In the second situation, you will find yourself calmer and more softer. You will tell your kid, “It’s okay, it’s just a juice. I can help you clean it.”
So, the problem is not with spilling the juice, the problem is with how you feel.
I can compare this example to many situations that mothers face at home. Often, when you get angry with your children, the reason is not because of the children’s behavior, it is because you feel a lot of stress and exhaustion from the responsibilities, so you have to ask yourself every time you get angry, why am I angry?
Your kid has nothing to do with your stress. If your kid drops the juice cup on the floor, He needs you to tell him “it is okay. Even I drop the juice from my hand sometimes”. because he now feels guilty about it, He needs you to boost his self-confidence, and teach him that it is okey to make mistakes, but we need to learn from our mistakes. He needs you to teach him how to hold the juice cup well next time. He needs guidance and training, he does not need your screaming and loud voice. Your screaming will send him a message that he is irresponsible and untrustworthy. If he tries to hold the glass of juice well the next time, but it falls, you must thank him for trying, and tell him not to give up, and try again. your kid will make the same mistake dozens of times, but with your patience and help, he will improve every time, and learn from his mistakes, because motherhood requires a lot of patience.
And to be able to do that, you have to be well first, you have to take care of yourself, do your hobbies, have self-time, do something you enjoy, it’s not selfish, it’s a necessary thing, to be able to become a good mother. The father must also share the responsibilities with you. You will need a lot of help, and time for yourself, away from responsibilities, to recharge your energy again, and relieve the stress of daily life.
Reference for the featured image:
https://www.mommyshorts.com/2015/07/the-search-for-the-biggest-mess-created-by-the-littlest-kid.html
